AQ - 2-4July2015 - Reflections from my 1st POP-AQ journey - Journey to self re-discovery

Reflections from my 1st POP-AQ journey - Journey to self re-discovery
2-4Jul 2015

Heard of POP since I was in ERA (year2009-2010). Nvr felt I wanted to attend, or more accurately put, I wasn't ready.

This year, saw many Powerful Negotiators agents attended it and also I felt strongly I needed an overhaul of my soul. I decided to register. Asked around and was advised to call Kelvin Foong.

Was asked to attend this current batch due to lack of hotel rooms in the June batch. I said ok. What followed afterwards i felt was fated. There were many issues and qns i had at this juncture of my life, I had them answered in this course.

With an open mind and also knowledge that there would be lots of crying n pouring out of inner emotions I decided that the issue with father is to be parked aside and not addressed it. Lo and behold, the trainer actually dwelt into that topic.

Father is the representation of our wealth/money/career; whereas mother is the representation of our inter-personal relationships with others & our savings. I nvr heard this before. I hv always asked the qn, what is the actual (spiritual) relationship between parents and children? Now i got my answer.
[At another source, father represents the sky (天) & mother represents the earth (thus "Mother Earth, 地)]

To reach to our higher being, we need to first start with our physical being. Our physical being is a reflection of our highest level being. Thus, on the 1st day, we did a lot of physical activities to bring out our inner emotions which are deeply embedded

Some of these activities were similar of those learned in the Virtues Project, for eg., shaming n naming of individuals - we go through life starting with a pure clean glass of water and along the way bashed harshly by our environment. It is only through inpouring of pure water again that we can let it wash away those impurities we accumulate over the years. How do we do that? In Virtues Project, it's by using the language of virtues, teachable moments, set clear boundaries, honouring the spirit and spiritual companioning. In AQ, through verbalising loudly 我是最优秀的！我是最宝贵的！& 我要突破！and a combination of physical exertion of strength, we worked our lungs n vocal cords out to let the blood flow actively again in our body. This is to work out our physical strength in order to build up our sense of belief, conviction, determination andperseverance to achieve our goals.

With all these qualities and much more, I want to remember their power in my real estate journey but also in my entire life. I want to discover a greater purpose of my life - what am I here for?

During this journey of achieving my personal goals, there will always be 'noises' around me and there will not be such thing to wait for them to be quiet before I embark onto my journey again. Thus, I need to know how to differentiate them from the useful advises or signs which the Higher Being is guiding me. How do I shield myself from these 'noises'? My belief, sincerity and couragewill overcome these constant fears. The 3 virtues I picked are 我是勇敢、负责、善良的女人。Obviously I have more qualities than that. However if I just concentrate on doing it right to achieve excellence in these qualities, the rest will follow.

During this course, I hv learned how to forgive father for his wrongdoings. At the same time I must not live in guilt. I must move on in my life and 'grow up'.  The course showed us how tough our father is in his endeavours and during his lifetime, he goes through lots of struggle and pain to provide for the family.

I took courage to ask the trainer my unanswered qn - what really is the true relationship between our parents and us? The long overdue bottled up emotions n tears finally gushed out. He told me I had not grown up. I am still living at the stage of my childhood. 我还在讨爱。I told him my childhood was a happy one. He said yes, that's cos that was the most love I got from father. And that's y i was still living in that stage of being. I need to grow up! It stroke me hard and I began to see fr a new perspective I nvr saw before. Nobody has really told me that. I didnt find that answer in my Baha'i life. I was appreciative. I decided I need to move on, to grow up. I need to give that love in order to receive love. Unconditionally. The virtues I picked to help me sustain this decision are patience, kindness and compassion. Alternatively, Abdul-Baha's quote "When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love."

During the lesson, I cld feel the energy of some people. I saw how broken we all are, to varying degrees. We were all at different stages of our life journey. I am glad I really like my small group - 7 of us including our team leader. Derek(1-1)-Propnex agent, our 带头雁；Eva(1-2)-single mum in her 20s; Alan(1-3)-regional finance mgr undergoing retrenchment in his 30s; Kok Leong(1-4)-single, in renovation in his 40s and Ken Ong(1-6)-interior design, married with 2 children. I am glad we hv a good mix of pple fr different backgrounds even though their profession may be the same.  Am glad Eva agreed to be my god sister. She has so much physical strength that I cldnt overcome and in fact she bruised my left elbow during one of the activities. I cld see her inner cheerfulness and youth and innocence. Nonetheless she is still rather young despite she went through a broken marriage and is a single mum of a 10 year old daughter now. I want to ride on their energy to to achieve my own personal breakthrough.

On the 2nd day of the activities, the trainer continued to dwell on the topics of our parents - how tough their roles are in order to keep the family together. This is on that day I got my most precious experience to let out my emotions. The activities strongly irked in my mind. After I asked those qns, the trainer asked 2 individuals whom he felt suitable to vent their inner anger against their fathers to come into the center to 'fight' - without using arms, legs, punching of face & stomach. While they were 'fighting' the trainer wld aggravate them by saying all the nasty things towards the father, provoking the child to vent it all out against the father. I cldnt hold back my tears and when he asked another classmate to step out to join in the fight, a strong sense of urgency rushed through me. I wanted to impulsively go forward to hug the other guy who stood there. I did hold back for a while, then I rushed forward to hug him. I kept shouting you guys dun need to fight and tried in vain to stop them from fighting. My team leader came forward to provoke me, telling me to stop doing this just to show off. The more he discouraged me, the more determined i was to stop them. I was confused, tired, and felt weak. I wanted to stop. But I didn't. At last I saw the father knelt down and the guy who were hitting the father actually stopped hitting him. The the trainer softened his tone and coaxed the child to forgive the father.  All of us went forward to hug them. We stood there for a long time in circles hugging each other. I heard a guy's voice crying really loud, sobbing away. I realise I wasn't the only one living in pain and hurt. 

After that the trainer asked when the head of the family or organisation were to fall and fumbled, what's going to happen to the family or the organisation? Obviously that's when the family breaks up too and the whole organisation collapses too. He used the analogy of the flying swans. During the winter, these swans will fly to the warmer areas to avoid the coldness. They all automatically fly in a V shape, only one swan leading in front, enduring the harshness of the bitter cold icy wind and snowballs hitting on its face. If this leader swan were to be too tired and fell, what wld happen to the rest? Would the 2nd one nearest to the leader take over? If so the V shape wld no longer remains and that wld upset the whole formation. The trainer's purpose of asking us is to lure us to understand WE all have to be that leader 带头雁. We cannot wait till the next person to take charge. All of us have the same responsibility to lead - employees and seniors alike; elder brothers/sisters and younger brothers/sisters alike. All has the same responsibility.  I remember Poh Leng ever told me before that I might be that one who helped to change the family atmosphere. I recalled her words when the trainer conducted this experiment in the class. He further stated that our father most of the times has been neglected and lose his place in the family. He has been wandering outside the family. We need to bring him home. His spirit needs to return to the family. These r the 2 take aways I have during the 2nd day activity on the topic of our father - 1) I am the 带头雁; 2) I need bring his wandering soul back home. 

We went to the Old Folk's Home on the 2nd day.  The task given to us is we were not given any money nor mrt card, nor can we drive.  We only took our phone and ic. How do we hail a transport to n fro and find a place where we can repay our acts of service to the society? Going to the old folks' home is just a task. It was the whole process that matters. 

We started off not very coordinated in our efforts.  It took us a while to gather our unity of love to impress upon the stranger driver to grant us a free ride to our destination. In the old folks' home, I felt sorry for these elderly who cldnt talk nor move ard. Silently I prayed that I wld not end up like them. On our way back we were more united in our efforts and managed to hail a 7-seater Opal car to take all of us back to our trainer camp. 

The take away from this exercise: -
1) This exercise depicts tat nothing we cannot accomplished - IMPOSSIBLE is actually I'M POSSIBLE. Thus when I encounter difficulties in my work or life, I must remember that nothing is impossible. 
2) With sincerity and honesty, if we dare to ask, we wld be given. It is this leap of faith that we dare our want that manifest our mission. 
3) Using the law of attraction principle, we attract the kind of luxurious car we want to ride in. Thus, this means dare to aim high. Ask and it shall be given!

In the night of the 2nd day, we did our Dreamboard - career/money/wealth; family/home; car and others. I need to polish up my DREAMBOARD. 

On the 3rd day, we again used physical strength to overcome our shortcomings. We are suppose to overcome our daily bad habits which are harmful to our physical body, our heart, our partners, bosses, parents and then arrive at the awareness of the god in our hearts.

I was too tired and reached a stage where I was merely doing the brute force activity. My only aim was using my determination to perform the act. I seem to know that to overcome all these barriers in our day to day life, i need to hv determination. One perspective fr our trainer is that this might be deemed good as I stop using emotions getting into the way and 'just do it'.

There is so many take aways from this course. In different dimensions. 
1) I want to re-discover my sense of daringness or daredevil spirit 不怕死的精神 - i recall my younger days where i did not think before I acted and went through the whole experience with the divine protection of the Almighty.
2) I work on opening my heart to FEEL - using more of my heart than mind to act naturally and unconditionally instead of using my head and think too much
3) Depend on the Holy Writings and words of inspiration to spur me on in times of difficulties. Compile a collection of Holy Writings and words of inspiration for my own encouragement from time to time
4) Concentrate and work on those virtues I name here and feel the strength from within. 

This blog serves to remind me of the experience I went through in my 1st AQ course. I am glad I signed up for the POP stage 1 21-25 July 2015 in Taiwan.